Thanks, Dudette!

I remember you. Pounding heartbeat and warm love. Changing my life with each crash of your heart against my palm. Your heartbeat rushed through my tired body,  reached my heart and became a new life. The life I recognised, had slipped away and I did not even know it.

Every moment that you weaved your magic around me, I grew. Breath by rebellious breath I became the mother I was not aware I had in me.

You placed your whole trust in me. I had no idea what to do, how to cope. But you had no one else, you had me, and you held my heart. How could I go wrong, in that deep trust?

When I spoke you listened to me. You took your steps and when they went awry, I reacted in ways I had not known I could. I mirrored others who had come before me. But your big brown eyes caught mine, and you spoke silent words. You taught me that my love for you was mine, and had to be expressed by words and actions that were mine, not by societal dictates. I could not repeat the words of others, as I had to forge a life of mine, with you. I had to learn from myself, and when I did right, your steps straightened and your eyes told me I had done well.

So I looked upon you, and learned from you how to guide you. Each wise word I uttered and helping hand I proffered came from the love I felt for you, and your big, trusting eyes. I had no need of any other knowledge, or wisdom, all I needed was my love for you.

Now, when my steps fall awry, you speak to me. You look deep into my eyes,  with a smile that warms the core of my heart, and you speak out your love.

So, today, I thank you. For being my daughter and my teacher.

Love you!

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Onwards and Anon!

It was my intention to lead the Bodhi Circle through my practice of meditation. Instead, others are more regular and steadfast. In the meantime,  I stand steadfast in my non-practice.

One person has shared their visualisations with me, another person has shared how their aching shoulder ache has improved. What do I have to share? Nothing much.

Most days I forget when I get up, and when I go to bed, I remember as I am dropping off. This results in, sometimes, hurried three to five minutes at night time and not at all during the day.

So my meditation practice has become like my start everyday “tomorrow is a new beginning” yoga practice. In the meantime the middle aged spread settles in more securely.

So. I now make a new commitment. Tonight onwards I commit to the meditation circle again. I will turn the times around. Ten minutes at night, and 5 minutes in the morning. I firmly believe I will report major progress next time.

Love

Update: Last night I did meditate  – for about 4 minutes and 32 seconds… . 🙂 I can now follow my followers… into the Circle! Now that I have remembered, I will sit down right now and do my “morning” session! Blessings be!